Date: January 4, 2021


Do Something GREAT in 2021!!


G- Generate a list of intentions and announce them. How else will people know that on January 1st, 2021 you are attempting to do new things?  Let the people in your home know that 2021 will bring positive change in the home environment and list specific actions.  Write them down. Perhaps, even put them in a place where everyone can see them. If you want buy-in, ask for input from those in the home.  Say something to the effect of “I was thinking we could work on communication or time management. Do you have any suggestions?” 

R – Restart a conversation. Did you ever have a conversation with someone and things went sideways, now you have no idea how you ended up in an awkward, heated or otherwise uncomfortable place? Start over. Lean into whatever you are feeling and say, “I don’t know how we got here, but maybe we can start this conversation over – what do you think?”  That inquiry ,“what do you think?”, is key here because that is how you test the waters.  That is how you figure out whether the other person is feeling what you are feeling at that moment and it gives them a chance to decide with you to hit the reset button on the conversation.

E- Engage in a different way. Try non-complementary behavior – despite announcing your intentions, old habits are hard to break and previous patterns are easy to slip into.  Since you can only control your behavior and not the behavior of someone else, I want you to try this: when someone yells at you, try speaking in a lower octave; if someone frowns at you, try smiling. By doing the opposite of what is expected during a conflict, you can de-escalate tension and completely change the course of a disagreement.

A- Apologize. If you are wrong and realize it, avoid the natural human urge to be silent and hope that it will go away. In the moment, or perhaps later when you have had a chance to reflect, apologize and explain why you think an apology is warranted.  Say, “ I am sorry when I said or did “x” because…”  Make sure the apology is genuine and sincere.

T- Try, try and try again! Give yourself some grace.  If you have made it to 2021, you have survived an unusually tough year.  Change does not always happen quickly. Even if you revert to old ways in the new year, continue to try these tips until the desired results are obtained.  

We know that you can do something GREAT in 2021!  

Please follow us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn and YouTube at @breakthroughadr to share how you used the tips and view our daily tips.  Subscribe to our YouTube channel (Breakthrough ADR) and podcast (Breakthrough Barriers with Damali) to get tips on a variety of situations. Visit our website www.breakthroughadr.com to work with us!!


Damali Peterman

Damali Peterman

Damali Peterman, Esq., is the Founder, CEO and Chief Conflict Resolver of Breakthrough ADR LLC. Damali has extensive experience in corporate law, mediation, negotiation, and conflict resolution. She is a highly sought after mediator and trainer for Fortune 500 companies, educational institutions, government entities, nonprofits and small businesses.

About Breakthrough ADR

BREAKTHROUGHADR partners with you to identify the best paths to achieving your goals. Whether you need help reaching agreement with another party or giving your partners, employees or students the tools needed to navigate and resolve conflicts, BREAKTHROUGHADR will work with you to help you accomplish your objectives and find your breakthrough.

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