This week we had the great pleasure of having Brad Heckman as a special guest on our podcast Breakthrough Barriers with Damali. Damali met Brad as his student at a basic mediation training program at the New York Peace Institute. He is a faculty member at the global affairs sector at NYU. He is also responsible for establishing mediation centers all over Europe and is leaving for a war zone in Baghdad soon in order to teach conflict resolution and de-escalation techniques and get the youth involved in civil society. Aside from all the amazing work he does, Brad is also a spectacular illustrator.
The first caller is a restaurant and bar owner who has hired from an outside security guard company to oversee his businesses. To his disappointment, he has discovered the security guards have not been able to effectively de-escalate issues that have presented themselves and have actually escalated the problems leading to the caller being sued for racial and sexual orientation discrimination.
Brad actually shared with us this funny story of training Bulgarian wrestlers on mediation in order for them to become security guards. Although there isn’t any training available in New York specifically for restaurant and bar security, there are many organizations that focus on dispute resolution training, mediation and conflict resolution, like what is available at the NY Peace Institute. There are also regulations for security guards put in place by both the city and the state.
This dilemma reminded Brad of the movie Roadhouse. Where the main character played by Patrick Swayze infused philosophy and martial arts when his intervention was necessary. We’ve suggested our caller look for the necessary requirements when hiring future security guards. Ensuring the company he is hiring from has trained their employees on proper conflict resolution. Also, looking for additional criteria when hiring individuals. For example, giving them a questionnaire or asking them to role play how they would deal with certain situations. What do you guys think is a good way to de-escalate situations where alcohol may be involved? What kind of tips do you guys have? Please let us know in the comments below.
The second caller had begun brainstorming a business idea with her coworker which they both agreed to collaborate on. As time passed, and life happened, her coworker became too busy to continue to help with the project. The caller ended up moving forward on her own and getting a business certificate under a fictitious name. She was wondering if she should let her coworker, and prior business partner, know that she has decided to move forward without her OR should she just continue working on the business and let her find out with the rest of the public.
We would need more information on the details of the predicament, but here are some questions to consider. Why are you hesitant to let her know? What consequences are you afraid will happen if you do tell her? How can it hurt your business? What role did she play in the development of the company? Do you feel she will ask for entitlement?
Try to play out the conversation in your head. Don’t just jump into telling her you’ve decided to move forward without her. Try to catch up with her in an authentic way and remember to give her the acknowledgment and gratitude she deserves for her involvement. Depending on what she has contributed to the creation of the business (equity & ideas) you may have to seek legal advice. Weigh the pros and cons of having that conversation and consider the quality of the things on your list, not just the quantity.
There is a buddhist saying: “Everything we say should be kind, true and useful.” Keep this in mind no matter what you decide to do.
Do you have any barriers that we can help you break through? If so, you can leave a brief message at 646-363-6322 or comment below on our interactive blog.
Please follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn @BreakthroughADR.